If humanity were comprised of
nothing more than a sum of its parts, we never would have survived. Consider
how society runs, interdependently. The device you are using to view this has
materials from all over the world, individually collected and manufactured
together to intermingle with millions of other people, some of whom are
thousands of miles away. All of this in exchange for a bunch of paper.
The family is the most basic unit
of structure in society. It is by them that children are born, raised, and
discover talents and purpose. Though we could, in theory, simply do as many of
the animals and have little or no family, it would lessen our total value.
Unfortunately, we suffer from
individualism. Wouldn't it be lovely if we all just did our job and had a happy
family life?
No. Dependence is different from
interdependence. Through unique perspectives and the expression of our views,
we provide necessary feedback to one another, ultimately assisting in our
progression.
Jordan Peterson has some
interesting views on this. One of his major rules states that it is your
responsibility, particularly to your children, to inform them in some way about
any discomfort they are causing to you or to others. By doing so, you assure
that you aren't allowing them to whittle away their value, and by their value,
their fulfillment in life.
Consider a thermostat system. By
receiving feedback in regards to the external temperature, it learns when
change is necessary. A lack of feedback leads to a lack of change, and this
results in a completely uncontrolled temperature at best, and a horribly
misconfigured one at worst.
Families are like this. Though
there should be a clear executive subsystem, families are ultimately comprised
of several individuals. Trampling out their opinions is undesirable.
Just as it would be to listen and
obey every member. An example may include a child with a condition such as
asthma, who's concerning attacks are made even more vicious and frequent by the
ever-present anxiety of an overly concerned mother. While it would be foolhardy
to ignore these attacks entirely, it is important for the executive system to
exercise good listening, as well as personal logics.
Of course, feedback would be almost
entirely useless without incentive. Influence remains a major issue within the
family system. Parents exert economic influence over children with tools such
as allowance to exhort children into acceptable behaviors. Though many do not
realize it, physical intimidation is a primitive tool still used in the raising
of children.
Children, in turn, exert influence
over their parents. This happens, in part, by the use of the other parent.
Without the other parent, this dynamic is lost, and children lose a great deal
of influence.
Of course, at first glance this
seems a good thing. Children exerting influence over parents has been given
quite a poor reputation, and with good reason. But children learn by pushing
boundaries. If those boundaries are too tight, or if they find to little power
within them, they stop pushing and ultimately stop learning.
Many families have
difficulties and circumstances that keep them from the highest degree of
enjoyment and fulfillment of their families, which is entirely understandable.
Others may cause these issues themselves, consciously or unwittingly.
Families are more than a sum of
their parts. The benefits from having an intact, biological family are
indescribable. Most any dying person has, on their deathbed, professed a regret
that they had not spent more time and effort on their family.
The most effective model consists of a strong bond between a
man and his wife, cooperatively governing the family and its subsystems. Consistent
leadership is vital to the function of any team, and this bond is central to
the growth and stability of the children.
Comments
Post a Comment