Dating in the Modern Day

Dating is becoming more and more of a lost art. Marriage, courtship - all are now seen as detracting from the pleasures of self-indulgence and lack of intentions. This is part of a much larger movement, in which there is a tendency among those of the newer generation to reject the notion of “no pain, no gain.”

A major contributor to this phenomenon is the rise of technology in the lives of adolescents. Whereas the previous generation took risks, broke bones, bled, sweat, and everything in between, the newest generation has risen to learn that the risk of failure outweighs the benefits of success.

The has particularly affected relationships. Marriage is now seen as an optional benefit, a mere commitment to someone with whom you have formed an attachment. In past times, marriage was a societal institution. Now, it is viewed as an unnecessary addition onto “love.”

This change has roots in the revolutions that took place during the middle of the twentieth century. The rise of feminism, individualism, and other such philosophies influenced the rising generation of the time, the “Baby Boomers.” The culture became one that reflected the satisfaction of the individual’s appetites, and rights became a more and more prevalent issue.

When marriage became a pleasure rather than a responsibility, divorce rates rose. This was due to the failing of expectations. High expectations lead to unhappiness. If a marriage was not immediately pleasurable, it was time for it to end. No longer was the emphasis on family so vital to society, and the publication of The Population Bomb didn’t help the matter.

As marriage fell away, so did dating, at least in the traditional sense. Over time, there has been a push away from anything that requires commitment or effort, delving instead into the pleasures afforded from promiscuity and self-indulgence. Many people heighten their activities in magnitude to fill the hole that is left in the absence of meaningful relationships.

Mental illness is at an all time high. Even when someone realizes that they desire a meaningful relationship, they are unable to take any action for the fear of never finding anyone similarly minded. So they stay on their unsatisfactory path.

Another possibility for the lack of action is a lack of knowledge. Most people don’t know how to make meaningful attachments, having issues in the past. A lot of this is based around the strategy they use. Using convenience to find someone and connect with them means that when things become inconvenient, they won’t stick around. “Hanging out” has become a massive phenomenon, and results in a heavier distrust for relationships as a whole. More and more people are celebrating their single status, and even embracing it.

Heartbreak, depression, misery, despair - all because people don’t know how to properly date? Seriously?

(TL;DR: Everyone is sad because they don’t know how to date).

The three major aspects of dating that set it apart are the three P’s: Paid for, Paired off, and Planned.

1.     Paid for

Many people think that financial independence is a good development of society, a type of gender equality. While this is true in certain cases, it also leaves a major gap between partners. Without full investment in each other, there can arise definite issues.

There are three steps: Dependence, Independence, and Interdependence. Dependence is the least developed of the three, where one partner relies entirely on the other without recompensation. Independence implies distinct categories, wherein each has their own property and theories. Interdependence is the most developed, wherein each provides necessary but different functions in the relationship.

Nature has dictated that males are certainly more adapted to the provision of resources, while women are more accustomed to organization and coordination. In any case, having it paid for by one of them symbolizes a definite bond, literally and otherwise.

2.     Paired off

Being in a general group can result in major discomfort, as certain individuals get the attention from nearly the entire group, while others suffer on the outskirts. Being paired off in a date ensures that all present will have someone to assure that everyone receives attention and adequate respect.

3.     Planned

Having an activity planned out ensures that there is some deliberate, conscious effort going into the (however temporary) relationship. It shows respect and diligence for your partner, and demonstrates that you are willing to put in at least a minimum amount of effort into their happiness, rather than assuming that they will take that responsibility solely upon themselves.