Dating
is becoming more and more of a lost art. Marriage, courtship - all are now
seen as detracting from the pleasures of self-indulgence and lack of
intentions. This is part of a much larger movement, in which there is a
tendency among those of the newer generation to reject the notion of “no pain,
no gain.”
A
major contributor to this phenomenon is the rise of technology in the lives of
adolescents. Whereas the previous generation took risks, broke bones, bled,
sweat, and everything in between, the newest generation has risen to learn that
the risk of failure outweighs the benefits of success.
The
has particularly affected relationships. Marriage is now seen as an optional
benefit, a mere commitment to someone with whom you have formed an attachment. In
past times, marriage was a societal institution. Now, it is viewed as an unnecessary
addition onto “love.”
This
change has roots in the revolutions that took place during the middle of the
twentieth century. The rise of feminism, individualism, and other such
philosophies influenced the rising generation of the time, the “Baby Boomers.”
The culture became one that reflected the satisfaction of the individual’s
appetites, and rights became a more and more prevalent issue.
When
marriage became a pleasure rather than a responsibility, divorce rates rose.
This was due to the failing of expectations. High expectations lead to
unhappiness. If a marriage was not immediately pleasurable, it was time for
it to end. No longer was the emphasis on family so vital to society, and the
publication of The Population Bomb didn’t help the matter.
As
marriage fell away, so did dating, at least in the traditional sense. Over
time, there has been a push away from anything that requires commitment or
effort, delving instead into the pleasures afforded from promiscuity and self-indulgence.
Many people heighten their activities in magnitude to fill the hole that is
left in the absence of meaningful relationships.
Mental
illness is at an all time high. Even when someone realizes that they desire a
meaningful relationship, they are unable to take any action for the fear of
never finding anyone similarly minded. So they stay on their unsatisfactory
path.
Another
possibility for the lack of action is a lack of knowledge. Most people don’t
know how to make meaningful attachments, having issues in the past. A lot of
this is based around the strategy they use. Using convenience to find someone
and connect with them means that when things become inconvenient, they won’t
stick around. “Hanging out” has become a massive phenomenon, and results in a
heavier distrust for relationships as a whole. More and more people are
celebrating their single status, and even embracing it.
Heartbreak,
depression, misery, despair - all because people don’t know how to properly
date? Seriously?
(TL;DR:
Everyone is sad because they don’t know how to date).
The
three major aspects of dating that set it apart are the three P’s: Paid for,
Paired off, and Planned.
1. Paid for
Many
people think that financial independence is a good development of society, a
type of gender equality. While this is true in certain cases, it also leaves a
major gap between partners. Without full investment in each other, there can
arise definite issues.
There
are three steps: Dependence, Independence, and Interdependence. Dependence is
the least developed of the three, where one partner relies entirely on the
other without recompensation. Independence implies distinct categories, wherein
each has their own property and theories. Interdependence is the most
developed, wherein each provides necessary but different functions in the
relationship.
Nature
has dictated that males are certainly more adapted to the provision of
resources, while women are more accustomed to organization and coordination. In
any case, having it paid for by one of them symbolizes a definite bond,
literally and otherwise.
2. Paired off
Being
in a general group can result in major discomfort, as certain individuals get
the attention from nearly the entire group, while others suffer on the
outskirts. Being paired off in a date ensures that all present will have
someone to assure that everyone receives attention and adequate respect.
3. Planned
Having
an activity planned out ensures that there is some deliberate, conscious effort
going into the (however temporary) relationship. It shows respect and diligence
for your partner, and demonstrates that you are willing to put in at least a
minimum amount of effort into their happiness, rather than assuming that they
will take that responsibility solely upon themselves.
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